August
2014 ~ Don’t Take Life Too Seriously . . . It’s Only a Hobby!
Excepts from a speech by Michael Anthony in April, 1991
I always get so excited when I get to deliver this program, about living and
loving and just plain being happy. It is after all, my own very best
therapy. I have always said that psychologists only become psychologists
because they are trying to solve their own problems in some way. Those of
us who are still practicing haven’t found all the answers yet.
I have learned that if you use your mind to create the things in life you
want, they will come to pass ... So each time before I give this
presentation, I take time and go over it in my mind, just as if I am really
giving it so it will go smoothly.... So today, I faithfully laid down on
the bed and started over each word of this message. . . . and promptly fell
asleep. I just hope it doesn’t have the same effect on you.
What we want to accomplish over the next ninety minutes or so is to take a
look at things in our life that are NOT NEW.
That is where we must start if we are going to understand how not to
take life too seriously, and want to lighten up life. . . enjoy life.. . . find
some fun in it. I would like to take a minute from this program and read
you a letter written by an eighty-five year old man just after finding out that
he was about to die. It goes like this:
If I had my life to live over again, I’d try to make more mistakes next
time. I wouldn’t be so perfect. I would relax more. I’d
limber up. I’d be sillier then I have been on this trip. In
fact, I know very few things that I would take so seriously. I’d be
crazier. I’d be less hygienic.
I’d take more chances, I’d take more trips, I’d climb more mountains,
I’d swim more rivers, I’d go more places I’ve never been to. I’d
eat more Ice cream and eat less beans.
I’d have more real problems and less imagined ones!
You see, I was one of those who lived safely, sensibly, sanely prophylactic
ally hour after hour, day after day."
Oh I have had my moments, and if I had it to over again, I would have more
of those moments-moment by moment by moment for I see now that it is in the
living that we thrive."
I am one of those who went nowhere without a thermometer, or raincoat or
parachute. If I had to do over again. I would travel far lighter next
time."
If I had it to do over again, I’d start barefoot earlier in the spring
and stay way later in the fall. I’d ride more merry-go-rounds, I’d
watch more sunrises, and I’d play with more children, if I had my life to do
over again. But you see, I don’t.
Why do we
take life so seriously? After all, it is not permanent.
None of us is going to get out of this alive. So why do
we make it so hard on ourselves? Nothing is forever. At least not on
this physical plane we call life. We live an imperfect life inside of a
perfect Universe.
Everything
in the Universe is perfectly ordered and does exactly what it is supposed to
exactly when it is supposed to.
Every event and every person that comes into and goes out of
your life is with perfect timing and in perfect harmony. Without
guilt or blame
or even judgment, the Universe
operates in perfect order, perfect vibration. When one segment of our life
ends, a new segment begins - all without your heart skipping a single beat . . .
When I say Universe, I am of course talking about that all encompassing,
omnipotent source of life and being.
When we look at the Universe as a whole, or all of God’s creations, we find
that it is far too grand, too expansive and yet too minute for us to
comprehend. When we look at this great spectrum, we start to feel our own
joyous insignificance. Once we take stock of this insignificance, we feel
a great weight of self-imposed, self importance lifted from our
shoulders.
In short, we realize that we have been taking ourselves far too seriously and
we then start to look towards celebrating our place in this grand scheme -
celebrating the wonders of even the smallest of things.
The Universe is perfect and yet changing and we as humans resist its
changes. We resist because acknowledging its
changes requires that we change with it — a difficult step for
many of us humans.
Why do we resist change?
Because it provides us with a sense of loss . . . A sense of
coming from a place that is familiar and going to a place that is foreign.
Yet, change is inevitable. You
are here tonight seeking change, not ever considering that change is taking
place as you sit here. Of course, some change is harder to deal with than
others.
Did you ever get up in the morning and find a new wrinkle and hoped it was a
pillow crease? Or found a new grey hair and convinced yourself that it was
just the light angle? Or discovered a bulge in some posterior place that
wasn’t there yesterday. So you see, change goes on without us . . . in
the perfect order of the Universe.
The only true path to happiness is not in the words of
others. It is in the strength within your heart and soul. Your
ability to enhance that which has been given you.
You see, LIFE
DOES NOT CHANGE. . . . We do.
We always want to "BLAME" life. We seek to blame because
change forces us into dealing head on with our life. So we blame other
people, our mother or father, God, the kids, our mate, and it goes on and
on.
How many times have we heard a wife say, "I just can’t get him to do
what I want. I wish he would change." That is far easier than
asking the question, "What changes do I have to make to get the reaction I
want?"
Taking
responsibility for your own life is key to the process of seeing life as
blameless.
All of us experience change — our perception, our opinions, our views
change. Think back 5 years or 6 months, or last week and see how you feel
today about abortion, gay rights, racism, police brutality, war, etc. Are
your feelings and opinions the same? Why not? What has
changed? How did you adjust to the change?
It is the process of change that
causes us the most stress. Most of us create phantom anxieties. We
worry about things that never come to pass.
Mark Twain said, "I have had so many troubles in my life . . . most of
which have never happened."
Sometimes change causes great pain. Sometimes this pain is
— by
itself — a great healer. It is through change that we
transform. Thus it is through pain that we contemplate, examine our lives,
become conscious of our direction and evaluate our value.
Adapting to Change on the other hand — if
well accepted and well managed — can bring great prosperity and happiness.
Prosperity can be defined as a sense of well being — financial as
well as emotional. There is a great difference in being "broke"
and "poor." Broke — meaning being without financial
resources. Poor — being down in spirit. There is an old saying
that says, "The best you can do for the poor is not to be one of
them."
Only you can decide when the
prosperity of peace will enter your life. You can shut it out forever if
you want.
Happiness is a different state for each of us. Many of us cannot even
decide what happiness means to us individually. Happiness
is an abstract concept. Most of us only think about happiness when we don’t
have it. Yet, we are all looking for it all the time.
Abraham Lincoln once said, "Most people are about as happy as they make
up their minds to be."
You see — we do make life very complicated. We do take it far too
seriously and we become invested in our outcomes, rather than the peace and
happiness we seek. What we want, how we want it and when we want it is
more important than accepting that there is a perfection to God’s being.
There is an order to the Universe. We have to learn to quit challenging
the Universe and live with it in harmony.
To summarize, there are just a few things we must learn to
make life more enjoyable, more exciting and certainly less stressful.
- Know that there are natural laws. All things
are as they should be. Don’t try to fix ’um if they ain’t broke.
- Learn from your environment, especially
children. They’re probably our greatest teachers when it comes to
understanding how to get along with our world.
- Don’t get stuck; keep moving. Grow, develop,
find something new, change dynamically. Keep practicing at living.
- Don’t fight it, Baby, it’s bigger than both of
us. Go with the flow! The more you resist, the more you act like
a salmon and we both know what happens to them.
- Mentally, go shopping for what you want in
life. See it, feel it, touch it (when you can). Experience it
daily and it will become yours.
- Understand that happiness is generated by the way
you treat yourself. You can be entrapped by someone else’s dogma or
you can expand into what is always before you.
- Live for today, as if today were your last.
One day, you will be right.
- Forgive yourself and others always.
To be happy in our life, we must change. It is inevitable. It is in
everything we know and are.
We must change from blaming, from
judgment, from guilt.
We must change into acceptance and
understanding.
We must cooperate with the changes in our lives. For each change is
your own personal miracle.
About the author: Michael Anthony,
Ph.D., was my best friend and business partner for more than 30 years.
Michael was well known for his
Organizational Development work, his unique corporate training techniques and
inspiring public speaking. His physical body died June 8, 2014 after
living a rich, full life. His wisdom and spirit lives on.