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February 2014 ~ Love the One You’re With
"Love the One You’re With" was a 1970 song by folk singer Stephen Stills, who was inspired by the tag line "If you can’t be with the one you love, love the one you’re with" — a frequent remark by musician Billy Preston.
February is traditionally the month when we celebrate Valentine’s Day — a time to acknowledge all the people we care about.
"Love the One You’re With" is also a metaphor for being able to see the good in any situation.
People often complain about their boss, their job, their work load, their customers, their clients, their commute, their pay check, etc. Over and over, they revisit negative thoughts in their mind until they are consumed with negativity. They forget that there are also many benefits of whatever work situation they find themselves in at the moment.
Change Your Thinking, Change Your Life
This month, we focus on seeing more of the positive side of a job or work situation, rather than the negative side as in "If you can’t be with the one you love, love the one you’re with."
When you can start to focus on the good things about your work, the negative things will fade and become less compelling.
In any "bad" situation, there is always some good. This month, we encourage you to find the good side and to revel in those good things until your thinking is more balanced.
Is your boss a jerk?
- If so, focus on something that is good about him or her. Be grateful for that aspect. .
- Try to put yourself in their seat with their experience to understand how they might make decisions or how they might view you in your situation.
- Can you find some way to get a better sense of who they are behind the things that bother you?
- Can you remember that your boss was once a small child with loving parents? That your boss went through many life experiences to get where they are today - maybe, some hard times and maybe some good times - just like you.
- Can you see them as another human being doing the very best they can at this moment?
- Can you see them as imperfect and fallible, just as you are imperfect and fallible?
- Can you remember that they are loved by someone, if not by you?
Is your job not what you really want?
- Can you focus on the skills you are learning from your present job and the experience you are gaining? Maybe, you are learning to deal with people who think and behave differently from you. Maybe, you are learning how to see other sides of an issue or to have a more well-rounded perspective on the company or the world. You never know what you might learn today that might help you be successful in the future.
- Can you remember that you have a good job, providing benefits for you and your family, instead of focusing a situation that ticked you off one day?
No matter what is happening around us, when we focus on negative things, we become more negative. People can feel that when you are around them as if there is a silent beacon shining forth negativity. No one likes to be around a whiner or complainer. People like to be around people who make them feel good.
If you can practice seeing the positive aspects of your job situation, your entire energy field becomes more positive and that carries over into other areas of your life. When you feel good, you will feel less stress and your overall health will be better. When you feel less stress, you become happier. By focusing on the positive aspects, you job experience may change also. If you were formerly negative about everything and you change to a positive attitude, better opportunities may come your way. People will notice the shift in you and start to treat you differently.
Find the Happy Place
Learn to find the "happy place" no matter what is going around you. Learn little tricks that make you feel good whenever you want to feel good.
Maybe you have photos of your family on your desk or on your computer screen saver. Maybe you have a photo of your dream home or fantasy vacation or a favorite pet makes you feel good. When you look at people or things — or think about people or things you love — you can choose to feel love instead of stress or anxiety. that good feeling then can carry you through your day.
Another technique that works well: Before going into a meeting, instead of thinking about all the things that could go wrong, imagine that the meeting will go well and that everyone will leave happy. Go into the meeting happy and upbeat. We've done this many times and taught others to use this technique. They are often amazed at how much better meetings flow when they start out with positive intentions.
Practice, Practice, Practice
This month, practice finding and using your own personal "happy place." Do it every day all month long. We all encounter many daily situations where we can practice adjusting our attitude and finding our own "happy place."
If you are able to do that every single day, even if sometimes you forget, you will start to build healthier habits that will benefit every area of your life.
If you are thinking about creating sources of income, new business ideas or exploring expansion of a existing business, our book Income Without a Job has some great exercises to assist with that.
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