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December
2007: Management Styles
Management
Styles (just for fun)
We usually do a fun article in December when everyone is either thinking about holidays or feeling stressed for a variety of other reasons. This month, we share some fun management styles. Happy Holidays!
"Management Styles" by F. J. Brugman
MANAGING BY WALKING FASTER THAN THE EMPLOYEES
These kinds of managers you will always see in the corridor, ten steps away. "We’ll have to talk," you can hear them say, just as they have disappeared around the corner.
MANAGING BY STARING OUT OF THE WINDOW
These managers you usually meet with their backside faced to you with their hands in their pockets. When you talk to them, their thoughts keep staring out of the windows.
MANAGING BY POST-IT’S
Some managers forget everything. They want to impress you with their "busyness" by continuously writing on Post-it’s while you are talking.
MANAGING BY DELEGATION TO THE SECRETARY
These managers just delegate everything to the secretary. If He is good, He knows what she can do.
MANAGING BY KNOWING NOTHING
These managers don’t really know anything at all. They let YOU give answers. Meanwhile, they fill the time with nice anecdotes of irrelevant cases.
MANAGING BY CONCEPTUAL THINKING
These people try to explain the present from a theoretical view of the far future. The idea that this never will work, completely satisfies them. They will always have something to talk about.
MANAGING BY HIDING INFORMATION
Information hiders are aware of the market value of strictly secret kept information. You must be very thankful to get any information at all.
MANAGING BY DOING EXACTLY WHAT THE BOSS SAYS
These managers prevent their bosses from creative thinking or else they get more work to do.
MANAGING BY WALKING ONE FOOT BEHIND THE BOSS
In hierarchical organizations, you can watch those groups walking in the corridor. The more equal managers are directly followed by the lesser equal managers, and so on.
MANAGING BY SMILING AND WEARING NICE SUITS
If you drink with them, lunch with them, smile at them and also wear nice suits, nothing can stop your career.
MANAGING BY STUDYING
Despite their continual attendances of all kind of studies and congresses, the more they learn, the further they get from the practical.
MANAGING BY CREATING VAGUE OVERHEAD SHEETS
Have you seen them? Those sheets with some big arrows, boxes or circles? These sheets provide the ultimate proof of their overall brilliance.
MANAGING BY OPEN DOOR AND EMPTY ROOM
This is a major improvement of the older "OPEN DOOR" management style. Now you can really walk in and out anytime you want. Nobody ever knows where these managers are.
MANAGING BY SPEAKING WITH OTHER MANAGERS
This kind of managing is very popular. It will give them within a few hours the same information as an employee can tell them in 15 minutes.
MANAGING BY HAVING A NON-SUPPORTING INFRASTRUCTURE
In an organization with a hopeless infrastructure, managers are really necessary. These managers will naturally prevent the organization from having a better infrastructure.
BUA MANAGEMENT (BY USING ABBREVIATIONS)
This management style is ATRASACWOC. (Adopted To Reach A Shorter And Clearer Way Of Communication)
MANAGING BY USING BUZZ WORDS
These managers like to bluff your head off with hip, undefined terms.
MANAGING BY REORGANIZATION
If they think there is nothing more to organize, they reorganize.
MANAGING BY BELIEVING
These managers must be spiritually educated, because they have no clue at all.
MANAGING BY FORGETTING PROMISES
If you remind them to one of their promises, the priority of that promise is too low to remember.
Source: "Management Styles" by F. J. Brugman. If anyone knows how to reach the author to ask permission to use it, please let us know.
Books - Disclosure:
We get a small commission for purchases made via links to Amazon.
- Management by Vice, a Humorous Satire on R&d Life in a Fictitious Company. C. B. Don. Sterling Ter Libra, 2006. ISBN-10: 0967008433 ISBN-13: 978-0967008431
Articles
Related newsletter articles:
Any December article
- Laughter May Be The Best Medicine http://www.stress-coping-self-help-tools.com/laughter.html
- Humor in the Workplace http://www.businessweek.com/smallbiz/content/nov2007/sb2007115_185030.htm
- Workplace Humor: How To Reduce Stress With Inoffensive Office Humor http://stress.about.com/od/workplacestress/a/officehumor.htm
The Lighter Side
- How to Maintain a Healthy Level of Insanity in the Workplace http://www.funnyhumor.com/jokes/1134.php
- Program Managers http://www.funnyhumor.com/jokes/1149.php
- Consulting Humor http://www.systemiccoaching.com/humor.htm
- Murphy's Laws of Work http://www.getamused.com/jokes/0241377.html
- The Psychology of Managerial Incompetence http://www.bola.biz/culture/mushroom.html
- Being a CEO http://www.thejokejukebox.com/jokes/427.php
- Government Office http://www.shabbir.com/jokes/work/govt.html
- Management Style http://www.shabbir.com/jokes/work/mgmtstyl.html
- A recruiter's choice http://www.caerleon.us/hb/archive.php3?file_id=524
- Management humor http://www2.bc.edu/~radinr/Management_Humor/jokes.htm
- The Value Added Chicken Joke http://www.comedy-zone.net/jokes/laugh/work/work001.htm
- Management Test http://funehumor.com/fun_doc4/fun_0431.shtml
About our resource links: We do not endorse or agree with all the beliefs in these links. We do keep an open mind about different viewpoints and respect the ability of our readers to decide for themselves what is useful.
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