February 2014 ~ Love the One You’re With

Resources (links, books, articles, the lighter side)

February 2014 ~ Love the One You’re With

"Love the One You’re With" was a 1970 song by folk singer Stephen Stills, who was inspired by the tag line "If you can’t be with the one you love, love the one you’re with" — a frequent remark by musician Billy Preston.

February is traditionally the month when we celebrate Valentine’s Day — a time to acknowledge all the people we care about.

"Love the One You’re With" is also a metaphor for being able to see the good in any situation.

People often complain about their boss, their job, their work load, their customers, their clients, their commute, their pay check, etc. Over and over, they revisit negative thoughts in their mind until they are consumed with negativity. They forget that there are also many benefits of whatever work situation they find themselves in at the moment.

Change Your Thinking, Change Your Life

This month, we focus on seeing more of the positive side of a job or work situation, rather than the negative side as in "If you can’t be with the one you love, love the one you’re with."

When you can start to focus on the good things about your work, the negative things will fade and become less compelling.

In any "bad" situation, there is always some good. This month, we encourage you to find the good side and to revel in those good things until your thinking is more balanced.

Is your boss a jerk?

If so, focus on something that is good about him or her. Be grateful for that aspect. .
Try to put yourself in their seat with their experience to understand how they might make decisions or how they might view you in your situation.
Can you find some way to get a better sense of who they are behind the things that bother you?
Can you remember that your boss was once a small child with loving parents? That your boss went through many life experiences to get where they are today - maybe, some hard times and maybe some good times - just like you.
Can you see them as another human being doing the very best they can at this moment?
Can you see them as imperfect and fallible, just as you are imperfect and fallible?
Can you remember that they are loved by someone, if not by you?

Is your job not what you really want?

Can you focus on the skills you are learning from your present job and the experience you are gaining? Maybe, you are learning to deal with people who think and behave differently from you. Maybe, you are learning how to see other sides of an issue or to have a more well-rounded perspective on the company or the world. You never know what you might learn today that might help you be successful in the future.
Can you remember that you have a good job, providing benefits for you and your family, instead of focusing a situation that ticked you off one day?

No matter what is happening around us, when we focus on negative things, we become more negative. People can feel that when you are around them as if there is a silent beacon shining forth negativity. No one likes to be around a whiner or complainer. People like to be around people who make them feel good.

If you can practice seeing the positive aspects of your job situation, your entire energy field becomes more positive and that carries over into other areas of your life. When you feel good, you will feel less stress and your overall health will be better. When you feel less stress, you become happier. By focusing on the positive aspects, you job experience may change also. If you were formerly negative about everything and you change to a positive attitude, better opportunities may come your way. People will notice the shift in you and start to treat you differently.

Find the Happy Place

Learn to find the "happy place" no matter what is going around you. Learn little tricks that make you feel good whenever you want to feel good.

Maybe you have photos of your family on your desk or on your computer screen saver. Maybe you have a photo of your dream home or fantasy vacation or a favorite pet makes you feel good. When you look at people or things — or think about people or things you love — you can choose to feel love instead of stress or anxiety. that good feeling then can carry you through your day.

Another technique that works well: Before going into a meeting, instead of thinking about all the things that could go wrong, imagine that the meeting will go well and that everyone will leave happy. Go into the meeting happy and upbeat. We've done this many times and taught others to use this technique. They are often amazed at how much better meetings flow when they start out with positive intentions.

Practice, Practice, Practice

This month, practice finding and using your own personal "happy place." Do it every day all month long. We all encounter many daily situations where we can practice adjusting our attitude and finding our own "happy place."

If you are able to do that every single day, even if sometimes you forget, you will start to build healthier habits that will benefit every area of your life.

Internet Resources

"Love the One You’re With" YouTube (video) http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_5IVuN1N6-Y
The Strangest Secret (audio) by Earl Nightingale http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=plhYVd2MgtA
As a Man Thinketh (audio) by Earl Nightingale http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=h6H0OwnIvs8
10 Ways to Find the Happy Place In Your Life http://www.romancemeetslife.com/2013/07/10-ways-to-find-happy-place-in-your-life.html
Find the Happy Place http://ilivecampaign.org/2012/12/10/find-the-happy-place/
Finding a 'happy place' worthwhile http://news.google.com/newspapers?nid=348&dat=20000206&id=IJM0AAAAIBAJ&sjid=ZUUDAAAAIBAJ&pg=6761,997286
How to Find the Happy Place in Your Life https://www.facebook.com/CareerPointKenya/posts/287810928006475
Finding Your Happy Place http://www.theromancedish.com/2013/06/todays-special-virginia-kantra.html
Finding My Happy Place http://tatterednworn.wordpress.com/2012/02/17/finding-my-happy-place/
15 Ways to Change Your Thoughts and Transform Your Life http://www.purposefairy.com/66095/15-ways-to-change-your-thoughts-and-transform-your-life/
Change Your Life with Your Thoughts http://www.joycemeyer.org/articles/ea.aspx?article=change_your_life_with_your_thoughts
Positive Thinking Radio http://positivethinkingradio.com/

Books - Disclosure: We get a small commission for purchases made via links to Amazon.

One Simple Idea: How Positive Thinking Reshaped Modern Life. Mitch Horowitz. Crown, 2014. ISBN 978-0307986498
The Power of Positive Thinking. Norman Vincent Peale. Simon & Schuster. (originally 1952). ISBN 978-0671581862
Think and Grow Rich. Napoleon Hill. Tarcher (originally 1937). ISBN 978-1585426591
How to Win Friends and Influence People. Dale Carnegie Pocket Books, (originally 1936). ISBN: 978-0671027032
The Science of Getting Rich. Wallace D. Wattles Tarcher/Penguin (originally 1910). ISBN-13: 978-1585426010
Essays and Lectures of Ralph Waldo Emerson. Ralph Waldo Emerson. Library of America. (originally 1841). ISBN 978-0940450158
As a Man Thinketh. James Allen. Tarcher (originally 1903). ISBN 978-1585425648
The Power Path: The Shaman's Way to Success in Business and Life. Jose Stevens. New World Library, 2002. ISBN: 1577312171
Transforming Your Dragons: Turning Personality Fear Patterns into Personal Power. Jose Stevens. Bear & Co; (July 1994) ISBN: 1879181177
Income Without a Job: Living Well Without a Paycheck. Michael Jay Anthony, Barbara J. Taylor. Lulu.com, 2008 ISBN-13: 978-0-557-00377-8. Website: www.income-without-a-job.com. Tap into your own creativity and use your full potential. Learn how to see opportunities that others miss.

Articles

The Lighter Side

We can complain because rose bushes have thorns, or rejoice because thorn bushes have roses. .. Abraham Lincoln

Get going. Move forward. Aim High. Plan a takeoff. Don't just sit on the runway and hope someone will come along and push the airplane. It simply won't happen. Change your attitude and gain some altitude. Believe me, you'll love it up here. .. Donald Trump

Minds are like flowers, they only open when the time is right. .. Stephen Richards

Sometimes, when you lose your way, you find yourself. Mandy Hale

Never run from the enemy; tackle them. .. Victoria Addino

Happiness is an attitude. We either make ourselves miserable, or happy and strong. The amount of work is the same. .. Francesca Reigler

If you think you can do a thing or think you can’t do a thing, you’re right. .. Henry Ford

Take chances, make mistakes. That’s how you grow. Pain nourishes your courage. You have to fail in order to practice being brave. .. Mary Tyler Moore

About our resource links: We do not endorse or agree with all the beliefs in these links. We do keep an open mind about different viewpoints and respect the ability of our readers to decide for themselves what is useful.

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Page updated: October 16, 2023

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