March 2014 ~ Finding Balance in an Unbalanced World

Resources (links, books, articles, the lighter side)

March 2014 ~ Finding Balance in an Unbalanced World

Socrates said, "Know thyself." This month, we share a handout from a recent workshop with Josh Reeves (used with his permission, of course). The handout forms the basis for this month’s article on ways of coping with stress, based on a self-assessment that helps us look at areas where we might be experiencing stress, with some suggestions for coping with those stressors. Each of us is a unique individual so what is happening for one person, may be experienced differently by someone else.

Questionnaire

Answer the questions below by circling the choice that fits you most closely (the questionnaire may be downloaded as PDF file):

1. What is more difficult for you . . .

1. Being Present
2. Forgetting past Experiences

3. Feeling confident about the future.

2. Is your stress more related to . . .

1. The task that you are currently engaged in
2. Regret about a previous event

3. Anxiety about an upcoming event.

3. Are you more apt to seek counsel . . .

1. On how to be
2. On how to cope

3. On what to do.

4. What drives your concerns in relationship . . .

1. Everyday interaction
2. Past behavior

3. Direction of relationship.

5. Are you more apt to . . .

1. Get distracted
2. Feel guilty

3. Worry.

6. Are you more likely to be in judgment about yourself for . . .

1. How you are acting
2. What you've done

3. What you've yet to do.

7. What do you respect more in others . . .

1. Live in the present
2. Have no regrets

3. A clear direction.

Interpreting Your answers

Count the number of times you circled each answer choice:

1. ________ 2. ________ 3. ________

If you circled more of the number 1 choices, your challenge is being in the present moment.

If you circled more of the number 2 choices, you tend to dwell on past events.

If you circled more of the number 3 choices, you tend to focus on possible future events.

You might have a tie or have a hard time choosing which choice fits you most closely. That’s OK. Each person is unique and different.

When we feel stress beyond the occurrence of a specific event, it means we are stuck somewhere, leading to continued stress that keeps us from enjoying life as much as we could.

Techniques for Dealing with Stress

Meditation

For being in the present moment, one good technique to use is meditation — quieting the mind and detaching from outside stresses so that a state of peace and quiet can be achieved.

The benefits of meditation include a reduction in: high blood pressure, depression and anxiety.

Scientifically demonstrated benefits of mindfulness practice include an increase in the body's ability to heal and a shift from a tendency to use the right prefrontal cortex instead of the left prefrontal cortex, associated with a trend away from depression and anxiety, and towards happiness, relaxation and emotional balance. [from ^ "Jon Kabat-Zinn gives a Google Tech Talk about introductory mindfulness practice online". YouTube, from http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Meditation#cite_note-mindful_tech_talk-149]

There are many different ways to meditate. A few examples include: sitting quietly with a focused mind, staring at a candle, listening to soft music, listening to nature sounds (birds, water, soft breezes), chanting, walking with focused attention and more — so each person can find what works best for them. A wide variety of meditation techniques can be learned in classes, books and via the Internet.

The most well-known teacher of meditation techniques was Buddha.

Forgiveness

For learning not to dwell on past events, one good technique is forgiveness — releasing the energy attached to a person or event that keeps us trapped in the past. As with meditation, there are many ways to learn forgiveness techniques.

The benefits of forgiveness include: greater happiness and overall health (mental, emotional, spiritual and physical, including improved cardiovascular and nervous systems). According to research studies, less forgiving people reported a great number of health problems.

In three separate studies, including one with Catholics and Protestants from Northern Ireland whose family members were murdered in the political violence, he found that people who are taught how to forgive become less angry, feel less hurt, are more optimistic, become more forgiving in a variety of situations, and become more compassionate and self-confident. His studies show a reduction in experience of stress, physical manifestations of stress, and an increase in vitality. [Fred Luskin, Ph.D. Forgive for Good: A Proven Prescription for Health and Happiness (Harper, 2002)] – [from http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Forgiveness#cite_note-14 ]

The most well-known teacher of forgiveness was Jesus. Another well-known person who has demonstrated forgiveness in modern times is Nelson Mandela.

Affirmative Prayer / Positive Thinking

For those who tend to focus on future events, one good technique is affirmative prayer — knowing beyond a shadow of doubt that things will work out in a positive way.

As with mediation and forgiveness, there are a variety of ways to learn positive thinking techniques and a myriad of books, workshops and ways to learn how do it.

The benefits of positive thinking include a greater ability to cope with stress, the ability to be flexible in the face of changes, being able to focus on the positive aspects of life and a greater sense of control when stressful situations do occur.

The Mayo Clinic reports a number of health benefits associated with optimism, including a reduced risk of death from cardiovascular problems, less depression, and an increased lifespan. While researchers are not entirely clear on why positive thinking benefits health, some suggest that positive people might lead healthier lifestyles. By coping better with stress and avoiding unhealthy behaviors, they are able to improve their health and well-being. [from http://psychology.about.com/od/PositivePsychology/a/benefits-of-positive-thinking.htm]

Teachers of positive thinking / affirmative prayer techniques include: Dr. Ernest Holmes (Science of Mind textbook), Dr, Wayne Dyer (You’ll See When You Believe It!), Charles and Myrtle Filmore, James Allen (As A Man Thinketh), Dr. William James, Morris Lichtenstein and Ella Wheeler Wilcox.

Learning stress reduction techniques is like learning any other skills — it takes practice to learn now to do them well until they become a regular habit and part of your daily routine. If you meditate, forgive and see life from a positive viewpoint, life becomes easier and stress is more manageable.

Unless we live as a hermit on an isolated mountain top, modern life will provide many opportunities for us to encounter stress in daily living and to practice better coping techniques.

We wish you a positive and less-stressful month, as we shift seasons from the challenges of Winter in the Northern Hemisphere to the coming of Spring.

Internet Resources

Rev. Joshua Reeves http://www.sbcsl.org/ and http://themeaningplace.org/
Meditation – Wikipedia http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Meditation
Meditation Techniques for Beginners http://www.mindbodygreen.com/0-491/Meditation-Techniques-for-Beginners-Demonstrated-by-Deepak-Chopra-Video.html
Transcendental Meditation http://www.tm.org/meditation-techniques
3 Meditation Techniques for Beginners http://health.usnews.com/health-news/health-wellness/articles/2013/07/30/3-meditation-techniques-for-beginners
Meditation Techniques http://www.freemeditation.com/meditation-basics/meditation-techniques/
Meditation 101: Techniques, Benefits & Beginners How-to http://life.gaiam.com/article/meditation-101-techniques-benefits-beginner-s-how
Wayne’ Dyers’ Relaxation and Meditation Routine http://www.huffingtonpost.com/Wayne%20W.%20Dyer,%20Ph.D./meditation_b_1898064.html
Japa Meditation: How to Reduce Stress http://www.livingwordsofwisdom.com/japa-meditation.html
Forgiveness — Wikipedia http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Forgiveness#cite_note-14
The Nature of Forgiveness (Psychology Today articles) http://www.psychologytoday.com/basics/forgiveness
How to Forgive http://www.wikihow.com/Forgive
Forgiveness: letting go of grudges and bitterness (Mayo Clinic) http://www.mayoclinic.org/healthy-living/adult-health/in-depth/forgiveness/art-20047692
The Forgiveness project http://theforgivenessproject.com/
Mandela’s miraculous capacity for forgiveness a carefully calibrated strategy Link

Forgiveness (Matthew West – music video / lyrics) http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=h1Lu5udXEZI
Research into the Strength of Forgiveness http://www.forgiving.org/Campaign/harness.asp
What is Forgiveness? http://psychcentral.com/lib/what-is-forgiveness/000965
Forgiveness: A Time to Love and A Time to Hate (PBS video preview) http://www.pbs.org/program/forgiveness/
Affirmative Prayer – Wikipedia http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Affirmative_prayer
Teaching Positive Thinking (video) http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SQIVslZIMXI
Dr. Wayne Dyer: You’ll See It When You Believe It! (video) http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eLDIXLPzd3w
Benefits of Positive Thinking http://psychology.about.com/od/PositivePsychology/a/benefits-of-positive-thinking.htm
The Science of Positive Thinking http://www.huffingtonpost.com/james-clear/positive-thinking_b_3512202.html
Positive Thinking (slideshow for teachers) http://www.slideshare.net/lionnagaraju/positive-thinking-for-teachers
Affirmative Prayer (Science of Mind) http://www.scienceofmind.com/practices
Affirmative Prayer Library http://affirmativeprayerlibrary.blogspot.com/
10 Tips to Overcome Negative Thoughts: Positive Thinking Made Easy http://tinybuddha.com/blog/10-tips-to-overcome-negative-thoughts-positive-thinking-made-easy/
100 Positive-Thinking Exercises That Will Make Any Patient Healthier & Happier - Link
Thought Awareness, Rational Thinking and Positive Thinking http://www.mindtools.com/pages/article/newTCS_06.htm
10 Powerful Ways To Get Positive, Positive Thinking Techniques When Stuck in A Rut - Link
Positive Thinking: Use Positive Thinking to Change Your Life http://www.loveorabove.com/blog/positive-thinking-techniques/

Books - Disclosure: We get a small commission for purchases made via links to Amazon.

You'll See It When You Believe It!, Wayne Dyer. Quill; (September 2001) ISBN: 0060937335 (with 50 million books in print, Wayne Dyer knows how changing his thinking profoundly changed his own life and the lives of millions of others who follow his work)
Buddha in Blue Jeans: An Extremely Short Simple Zen Guide to Sitting Quietly. Tai Sheridan. CreateSpace, 2011. ISBN: 978-1466480032
Forgiveness: Overcoming the Impossible. Matthew West. Thomas Nelson, 2013. ISBN: 978-1400322565
Mandela's Way: Lessons on Life, Love and Courage. Richard Stengel, Nelson Mandela. ISBN: 978-0307460684
Forgive for Good. Frederic Luskin. HarperOne, 2003. ISBN: 978-0062517210
As a Man Thinketh. James Allen. Encore Books, 2013. ISBN 978-1492735427
Science of Mind. Ernest Holmes. Wilder Publications, 2010. ISBN 978-1604599893
Income Without a Job: Living Well Without a Paycheck. Michael Jay Anthony, Barbara J. Taylor. Lulu.com, 2008 ISBN-13: 978-0-557-00377-8. Website: www.income-without-a-job.com. Tap into your own creativity and use your full potential. Learn how to see opportunities that others miss.

Articles

Related newsletter articles:
    Oct 2002 - Reducing Stress in the Workplace
    Sep 2004 - Stress Busters: Managing Stress
    Nov 2009 - Healthy and Safe Workplaces
    Jul 2001 - Balancing Life and Work
    Sep 2008 - The Joy of Work
    May 2002 - Stress: How It Affects the Roles We Play
    Feb 2009 - Staying Inspired
    Oct 2012 - Crucial Conversations: Learn to Look
    Sep 1997 - Balancing Life and Work.

The Lighter Side

Three beautiful Spring cards from Jacquie Lawson:
    Morning Glory
    Plum Blossoms
    Rustle of Spring

Wit, Wisdom and Fun http://www.itstime.com/swisdom.htm

About our resource links: We do not endorse or agree with all the beliefs in these links. We do keep an open mind about different viewpoints and respect the ability of our readers to decide for themselves what is useful.

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